15 Month Check-Up

Took Jaden yesterday to get his 15 month check-up, we are a little bit off schedule because we had to wait 8 weeks after his last brain surgery. he had to get his Chicken Pox, HIB, and MMR shots as well, that was horrible....We did not get very good news about his overall measurements...He has lost a whole pound in 2 weeks, so our Pediatrician is very concerned. We have changed his diet just a bit and the pediasure that we have been supplementing in between feeds in his sippy cup will become a regular feed, every other formula feed now. He will get a whole formula feed which is Similac Sensitive 24 calorie and then he will get a whole feed of Pediasure 30 calorie. Not sure why the loss in weight except now he is starting to be more active, and he gets therapy three times a week, and he is also eating more by mouth, all on his own, that could possibly be taking away some calories. She wants to see us back in the office in two weeks for a weight check.

We talked about Jaden's overall assessment which to me is so heartbreaking.....This wasn't just a normal 15 month check-up, He is so far behind and it is killing James and I, we know that it's not his fault, he has been through it....14 surgeries is enough....But to go and see all the milestones up on your Pediatrician's wall what your toddler should be doing this, this, and this by this stage absolutely makes me sick to my stomach....He can't even sit up all by himself for God's sake at 17 months of age....I could go on and on about all the milestones that Jaden has yet to reach but that doesn't change the fact that we desire for things to be different...why Jaden, why can't he be just like any other healthy kid that is enjoying being a toddler getting in to everything and exploring this great big, screwed up world....Yeah we know everything is for a reason and that God must have something great planned for his life, that's great in all but right now seeing him be like this and not knowing if he will ever walk or get to run and play is really taking it's toll on us and our marriage. We have faith in The God that created this universe and spoke everything in to existence but we are having a real hard time at this point in our lives when we know where Jaden should be but isn't....He is still so weak in his upper body, but could it be he might always be like this???? He is bearing weight a little but not great, could it be this might always be?????? Even our own pediatrician can't tell us that it's just because of having so much done to him.....We don't know if this is why he's so far behind. We just want some answers and no one is helping...It's just a wait and see game. We are so tired of the waiting game....We want to see major improvements and it's not happening....The growth curve and all the little steps that she showed me where he should be and where he actually is, I couldn't even hardly stand there.....my heart is breaking, our hearts are breaking...We try to act like we are ok but there comes a time like this blog entry............................It has to be made known............Does anybody care???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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I try to be the best mommy I can be and I'm closer to the Lord now than I ever have been in my whole entire life and I just only hope and pray that God will give us the desires of our hearts and if He chooses for Jaden to have CP then we will deal with it, but no one will give us an answer......

We have so many people that pray each and every day for us, I honestly think that this is the only thing keeping us together and going. Please help us pray for his weight gain and his strength. Please.....Please.....Please......